Comedians

Hilarious comedian Jonnie W. had a ridiculously funny take on his dogs strong aversion to and hatred of wheels. God made everyone an individual with a unique personality, thoughts and opinions. The Lord is in the business of creating originals and not replicas. Now, as individuals, everyone has things they like, dislike and fear. Some of those items can and are the same, but for the most part, they will vary slightly depending on the person. As it turns out, those likes, dislikes and fears apply to the cute, furry and four-legged community members as well. Dogs, cats and other animals also have their own personalities and things that they enjoy and, at the same time, things that they strongly dislike and even hate. Every pet owner understands that each animal is different in their own way and will not react to everything in the same way. In a clip posted on YouTube, Jonnie W. mentions his dog, Toby. According to Jonnie, Toby is not the most intelligent animal to ever roam the earth. To back up his statement about Tobys lack of smarts, Jonnie states that Toby has a strong dislike of all kinds of wheels. He hates wheels, yall, Jonnie said. Any wheels of any kind, okay? He chases wheels; any spoked wheel come a whirring by the house. Jonnie mentions that Tobys hatred of wheels has led to some unfortunate but hilarious situations. Toby will run after and chase away any and every wheel. Like a bike, or a motorcycle or a wheelchair last week, Jonnie said. Thanks, Toby, appreciate it. We have to move again, thank you. Jonnie also mentioned a hilarious incident in which Toby chased away some visitors. This really happened, he said. Two Mormons came by the house on their missionary journey a few months ago. Im on the porch; Im letting him go to the bathroom. He chased them into a ditch. Im on the porch; I didnt know what to do. Like, Sorry! He is Lutheran. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

One comedian's hysterical take and jokes about fast food will have you in stitches and doubled over in laughter. Everyone knows fast food is not the world's healthiest choice. Of course, we all know this, but we continue to frequent Wendy's, Burger King, KFC and other similar establishments. Why? Because it's convenient, and sometimes a burger and fries hit the spot. Another reason fast food is so widely consumed is likely that it's incredibly convenient. On your way home from work, it's much easier to grab dinner for the family instead of preparing a meal after you arrive home. Plus, you probably pass about 10 fast food locations on your way home anyway. Comedian Drew Dunn understands that he eats way too much fast food, and he hilariously explains why and how he knows this. He explains that he can, simply by the feel of the bag, know if McDonald's, Culver's or some other place got his order correct. Like, I eat so much fast food I can tell when they messed up my order by like the weight of it, he said. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's pickles on this. I can feel it. It's dense. Send it back. Like everyone else, Drew understands that there are better options than fast food. But because he's on the road all the time, it's convenient. He also has some other reasons why he enjoys frequenting fast-food chains. I don't go there for a good meal and quality service, he said. I go there for a mystery bag and some attitude. That's why I go. You never know what you're going to get. It's fun. He then shares how he once ordered a chicken sandwich from McDonald's without a bottom bun. As everyone would have been in that situation, Drew was utterly flabbergasted about how that could ever happen. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Christian comedian Tim Hawkins wants church services to resemble a football game and he has some pretty hilarious ways to do that. For the most part, all church services follow a familiar, predictable pattern. Depending on the denomination, the praise and worship team or the choir kicks things off on Sunday morning by singing a handful of songs everyone knows well. Once that portion of the service is complete, there is typically a time for announcements and the collection of tithes and offerings. Once the singing is over and the offering has been picked up, the pastor usually steps up to the pulpit and delivers the message. Most churches organize their Sunday services this way but of course, there is variation here and there. But what if churches change things up a bit? In a clip posted on Instagram, Tim suggests some possible changes to make attending a church service more like going to a football game. I think church should be like football, Tim said. Yeah, lets get there an hour early on Sunday, tailgate. You know what Im talking about! Tim also suggests a new, updated, energetic way for the praise and worship team to enter the sanctuary. Service starts, break through paper, he says. You know, the worship team breaks through paper. But Tims hysterical ideas for making church services more like a football game did not stop at tailgating in the church parking lot and a new entrance for the praise and worship team. He also had a new method for showing the pastor support after the message is given on Sunday. Pastor does a good sermon dump Gatorade on his head, he said in the clip. None of these ideas and suggestions are likely to be implemented by any church. But attendance at any church that tried these out, even for a little bit, would probably see a momentary spike in attendance on Sunday morning. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Christian comedian Jonnie W. sang a hilarious song parody about how he let himself put on some pounds while he has been doing comedy. Aging is a natural and, sadly, unavoidable process that happens to everyone. As much as we may fight and dread getting older, its inevitable, and there is nothing you and I can do to stop it. Time will only keep moving forward, so you might as well hop on and enjoy the ride. Now, with aging comes several things, including putting on weight. While its different for everyone, metabolism slows down as we age, which often means some extra poundage. We cant eat like we did as teenagers, when our bodies instantly burned off everything we ate. But a slowing metabolism isnt the only factor that leads to weight gain, of course. Not eating healthy and not getting the right amount of exercise also significantly impacts weight. Also, doing stand-up comedy can lead to weight gain, as Jonnie W. hilariously sings about in a clip posted on YouTube. Jonnie W. opens his show with a song that parodies Kings of Leons massive hit Use Somebody. He explains that his tune is about how much weight he allowed himself to gain while traveling around the country doing comedy. The lyrics are absolutely hysterical, including the song's opening verse. Been eating all over town Now, when I look down, cant see my feet Been a glutton, broke the button off my jeans I need to reduce my body. Later, in the second verse, he adds how eating has negatively impacted his Hide-and-Seek win-loss record. Hes become too massive and, therefore, is now too easy to find. Jonnies tune, while hilarious, makes sense, and not because hes obese or anything. Comedians often travel a lot from city to city, performing for crowds. Anyone who has done any kind of frequent traveling understands that its easy to choose the quick and easy food option rather than the healthiest. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

A hilarious comedian turned a tricky question from his wife into comedy gold. Marriage is a beautiful thing. After much thought and prayer, entering into that sacred institution with the right person will be one of the best decisions youll ever make. Marriage produces many terrific things, including children and some pretty hilarious situations, as one comedian details. However, as great as marriage is, its still a relationship between two flawed people. These two individuals may sometimes have issues communicating, which can lead to tiffs and disagreements. A husband might think his wife understands what hes saying or a point hes trying to make when she has no idea or vice versa. In a short clip posted on YouTube, comedian Wali Collins mentions a challenging and tricky question his wife likes to ask him. He admits that when she poses this often-asked question, hes never quite sure how to answer her. Women love to play a game. The game is called, Notice anything? he said. The game pops up anytime, no warning. Shell make eye contact, get in position and announce the game. Wali says that he is awful at the game and that whenever his wife asks if he notices anything, his guesses are always incorrect. He asks if its her shoes, shirt, or hairall of them are completely wrong. He even asks for a hint, which isnt helpful at all. According to Wali in the clip, the correct answer was that it was nearly his wifes birthday. I shouldve known that, he says. Yeah, thats obvious. No one relationship is perfect, including a marriage. Thats why its always good to have a sense of humor and not take yourself too seriously. Later in the clip, he also has a hysterical bit about the names some parents give their children. Also, Wali mentions that because of his buddys first name, things can become a little weird when trying to get his attention from across the street. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

Christian comedian Tim Hawkins hilariously explains and demonstrates how men and women text differently. Communication is essential for any and every relationship. Without consistent and constant communication, a relationship will cease to exist. You cannot have a relationship without communicating with someone in some form or fashion. Thanks to technological advances, everyone can now instantly communicate with practically anybody. Cell phones have become so pervasive in society that they are basically an extension of most peoples hands. Everyone is on their phone doing something constantly. Of course, one of the many functions that our cell phones can perform is sending a text message to someone. It likely has become most peoples preferred form of communication. People are constantly texting someone about something. However, not everyone texts exactly alike, as Tim hilariously points out in a clip posted on social media. In the short clip, Tim mentions how men and women text one another differently. Tim states men are more to the point, sending only a handful of words in a text message at a time. However, women, on the other hand, prefer to write long, detailed, book-length text messages. Like when men text something, its just a couple of words, Tim said. Tim mentioned that when women text, they resemble a small, cute wild animal holding food. You look like a squirrel holding a nut, he said. With a series of hilarious and furious hand motions, Tim acted out a woman writing out a text message. You got a carriage return on your phone, he said. Sparks flying off of your palms. Tim shared a recent text exchange between his wife and himself to illustrate further his point about the differences in texting practices between men and women. His message to his wife was, Hello, my darling. How are you doing today? Her response to him was massive and incredibly detailed. She told him basically everything that had happened to her that particular day. He answered back, K. Ephesians 4:29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouth, but only what is good for giving necessary teaching, and for grace to those who give ear.

A hilarious comedian was able to turn math problems into hysterical jokes successfully. Everyone has different skills, gifts, abilities and interests. Those differing skill sets and interests are very apparent in school. Some people have a terrible time with particular subjects, while others excel at them. Math is one of those subjects that people either love or hate. Some seemed to have a natural talent for numbers and were able to pick up mathematical concepts quickly, but some had massive problems with math. No matter how much work or effort they put into learning the subject, it was always a struggle. Well, math doesnt always have to lead to anger and frustration. In a clip on YouTube, one comedian, Don McMillian, showed that math can actually be pretty hilarious. Through a series of math problems that are incredibly relevant to society today, Don will have you doubling over with laughter. He uses several well-known companies, such as eBay, Facebook and Twitter, to make some extremely valid points and hysterical jokes. His logic and formulas in his jokes are easy to follow, even for those of us (me included) who might be mathematically challenged at times. Throughout the clip, Don has the audience laughing at his witty and terribly funny jokes. As every good joke does, Dons hysterical jokes all have a lot of truth to them. Everyone can easily relate and understand exactly what hes talking about and knows that, for the most part, he is 100 percent correct. Don, an engineer who loves all things numbers, said that one of his goals when getting into comedy was to make math fun. This short five-minute clip proves that Don has achieved that goal. Who wouldnt want to immediately run out, pick up a math textbook, or sign up for a math class after watching this hysterical clip? Proverbs 17: 22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

One comedian gave a spot-on and hilarious take on how television has changed and evolved over the years. After a long day at the office, most people like to sit down, relax and escape the stresses and worries of their day for a while. The easiest and most popular way to do this is to reach for the remote and turn on the television. TV provides escapism, allowing us to turn off our brains for a little bit while we dive into our favorite series or program. Now, thanks to the invention of streaming and on-demand platforms, we can watch our favorite programs on our schedule. But that wasnt always the case, as one hilarious video correctly points out. In the hysterical clip, Matt Mitchell plays two rolesa customer and a salespersonacross the decades. The video starts in the 1950s, when television first came onto the scene and continues all the way up until today. Like every good comedian, Matt infuses a lot of truth into his jokes about how television has changed in some ways but stayed the same in others. To help set the mood and feel for each decade, Matts wardrobe continuously and noticeably changes and the background music for each decade comes from a popular TV show at that time. At the beginning of the video, Matt is stunned when he learns that it would cost him an entire months salary to purchase a TV set. But that sting is lessened a bit when he learns hell be able to watch all three channels for free! However, as the video progresses and the decades change, Matts questions and worries become a little more familiar. He is asking questions that weve all thought about at one time or another about our television and streaming platforms. Again, this short video is 100% spot-on and absolutely hilarious! Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Christian comedian Tim Hawkins had a hysterical response to a fans question about how much and how often he reads the Bible. Christians understand that developing and maintaining a relationship with God, the Creator of the universe, requires work on our part, just like any other relationship. Like every other relationship in life, communication is an essential aspect of having a personal relationship with the Lord. That, of course, is achieved through daily and earnest prayer. Another critical part of having a relationship with God is digging into the Bible. What better way to learn about Him than to read Gods Word? That holy text is essentially a blueprint and a guidebook for life, providing answers, examples and commands for every situation we encounter in this life. In a clip posted on social media, Tim says that he often gets some weird questions when hes out on the road. One happened when a woman asked him how frequently he reads his Bible. This lady asked me this the other day, Do you read your Bible every day? Tim said. Well, Tim provided an answer, but in the most hilarious way possible. No, I read your Bible every day, he said. I sneak in your house when youre not there, and I do devotions, and I highlight verses that dont make any sense. He then went on to create a scenario of that woman going to and opening her Bible only to discover that a random verse was highlighted, leading to much confusion. Youre like, Why did I highlight, Dont cook a goat in its own milk? What is that? Is that supposed to mean something to me? Maybe I need to pay better attention. In this short but hilarious clip, Tim again shows why he continues to be so successful and popular! Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

In a hilarious sketch from The Carol Burnett Show, the legendary Vincent Price handed cash to the comedic genius Carol Burnett. Money is a necessity in life. We all need it to survive and function. However, money can also lead to issues. Having too little of it can cause problems, but having too much of it can also cause problems. A lack of monetary income makes paying bills and for essentials nearly impossible. However, someone consumed by the love of money could lose their soul. A hilarious clip on YouTube shows how money can lead people to resort to mean, despicable and questionable ways to obtain it. The clip features two legendary figures Vincent Price and Carol Burnett. In the short sketch, Vincent plays a celebrated and arrogant author at a book signing. He meets and greets fans while basking in the praise his latest work is receiving from critics and fans alike. Seconds into the skit, Carol, who dons a Girl Scouts-type outfit, enters the bookstore. She quickly explains who she is and wants to collect money to send her troop members to camp. Hilariously, Carol, who is supposed to be playing a child, will do whatever it takes to extract money from Mr. Price. She even resorts to blackmail to help fill her tin can with dollar bills. However, Carols actions become more sinister and hysterical as the sketch continues. Right before a local television interview, Carol mentions that she has found quite the loophole in Vincents latest novel, which everyone is celebrating. To try and keep her quiet, he gives her more and more money. Carol eventually ends up doing the television interview with him. She gets him to talk about her group and how it needs donations while he takes off his watch and generously hands it to her. The skit is hilarious, but it does highlight how low some people will go to get money from others. The Bible is also extremely clear about money and how Christians should watch themselves and guard their hearts regarding money. 1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all evil: and some whose hearts were fixed on it have been turned away from the faith, and been wounded with unnumbered sorrows.

The Carol Burnett Show has come up with several hilarious takes on some standard commercials. No one enjoys commercials. All commercials do is seemingly interrupt our favorite television programs at the most inopportune moment. When a character has to make an important decision that will significantly alter the episode's direction and the entire series, you can bet that a commercial is only seconds away. Unfortunately, we would not have any television programming to watch without commercials. Those ads provide the budget, paying for the shows you tune in to watch weekly. So, if we didnt have those annoying and troublesome ads, we wouldnt have TV shows. While most people arent the biggest fans of commercials, we are all incredibly familiar with them. Most of the time, based on how the commercial is put together, we can likely guess what product the ad is trying to sell. In a clip posted on YouTube, The Carol Burnett Show put together a series of hilarious parodies of a whole string of commercials. While the specific products in the ads may be unfamiliar to us, the type of commercials are ones we know well. The first commercial features Harvey Korman playing chess with several people huddled around him, watching every move very closely. One of the spectators is a man noisily munching on a bag of chips. Each bite he takes gets louder and louder. Eventually, Harvey stands up, and the two men try to outdo one another. They both take loud, highly annoying and greatly exaggerated bites of the chips. Other commercials include Harvey pitching a coffee maker that makes any coffee better and faster. Given his pained and hilarious expression, his previous statement is not entirely true. Another faux commercial included in the sketch compilation shows a mother entering her surprise party and being moved to tears. The older woman is quickly handed her gift: a box of tissues. Her daughter and the other guests then promptly exit. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

A hilarious and talented comedian hysterically explained how English is his first and second language. Being introduced to a new subject or set of facts and figures can take time and effort to learn and grasp. Attempting to pick up a new skill can be daunting and overwhelming. Learning is hard and usually requires some time and patience. But what if you already know and use what youre learning daily? That would make learning a breeze and a most enjoyable experience. However, are you really learning if you already know what youre learning? In a clip posted on YouTube, Vien Phommachanh explained how he became quite familiar with the English language. While in school, Vien took ESL (English as a Second Language) classes. He stated that there was one big problem with his placement in those classes. School was weird for me, he said. I had to take English as a Second Language classes. I struggled in these classes because I only spoke English. Vien explains how and why he ended up in those classes he did not need. I went to a school with a bunch of immigrant kids, he said. They didnt know what to do with me. The teachers were like, What do we do with the Asian kid who speaks English? Yeah, they decided lets just put him with the others. So, English is now my first and second language. Later in the video, Vien says that when his parents came to his stand-up, heckled him and inadvertently turned the entire room against him. I got my parents to come to a show, he said. I was like, Itll be a good time and well make them laugh. Itll be awesome. It wasnt awesome. They didnt laugh once, and they made everybody uncomfortable. He says that after explaining to the crowd that his parents were in attendance, everyone would turn and look at his mom and dad to see if they were laughing. He says the only laugh he got during that set was when his father said, You not funny. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Christian comedian Tim Hawkins hilariously described Heaven and some activities that might occur in the city where the streets are paved with gold, including taking selfies with giant, massive figures mentioned in the Bible and adding friends on a unique and exclusive social media platform. He also mentioned that he does have one fear while in Heaven. Every follower of Jesus Christ wants and strives to make it to Heaven. Yes, being human, we all still fall and stumble, but Heaven is the destination for those who have accepted Him as their personal Lord and Savior. All desperately want to enter the pearly gates as they hear, Well done, good and faithful servant, after they leave this Earth. Heaven will be the most stunningly beautiful place imaginable, full of people who constantly praise and worship the Lord. It will also be an opportunity to reunite with loved ones who have gone before us. But besides singing His praises and fellowshipping with other believers, what activities will be available are unclear. In a clip posted on social media, Tim tries to fill in some of those gaps. He hilariously describes what people might be doing once we all get to Heaven, such as singing, dancing and hanging out with people like Paul, Moses and Abraham. However, Tim mentions that he does have one fear about going to Heaven: He does not want to embarrass himself. Theres gonna be a lot of famous people there, Tim said. I hope I dont embarrass myself, get all starstruck, you know? In the video, Tim mimics dancing and worshipping the Creator when he notices a pretty recognizable face worshipping and dancing right next to him. Thats the apostle Paul! Tim says as he rushes over and pretends to grab a quick selfie with the man credited with writing much of the New Testament. In the clip, Tim casually mentions how Heaven may even have their own social platform: Gracebook. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Find my full comedy special on my website: http://johnmstuart.com

Take a moment for a well-needed laugh. This comedian has a hilarious take on working in his church's nursery. Jonnie W Comedy shares a humorous take on serving in the nursery for church. He says it is the best because the babies cannot rat you out if it all goes wrong. The audience laughs out loud. He shares how they are a sticker church because they put stickers on the kids when they get checked in for the nursery. He says, Were tagging these kids like theyre in the wild, its weird. Jonnie goes on to say that parents are supposed to keep the other piece of paper, and he jokes that he doesnt put up with that in his nursery, You come back without that piece of paper, were keeping him ok? He tells them that they knew the risks. The audience is howling and laughing. He continues that the parent says that he knows him and he dropped him off, and he says, Sir look, without the receipt the best I can do is store credit. Everyone laughs so hard. He says that he responds, youve gotta pick out something of equal or lesser value. He jokes, We give out so many redheads yall, its unbelievable. The audience is rolling. I love how Jonnie takes such a mundane task and makes it hilarious. He has a true talent for captivating an audience and leading them into laughter. Scripture tells us that laughter is healthy for us. Hopefully this video is good medicine for all of us today. It is wonderful to laugh about some of the every day or weekly tasks that we do. Our God is good, and He created laughter. We are invited in to express this gift of humor given to us by the Creator who loves us, and what better way than to laugh about the nursery at church? A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a persons strength. Genesis 1:21-22

A comedian, Brian Scott McFadden, gave his hysterical take on the accents most pilots seem to have and the crazy and insane boarding procedures of airlines. Everyone loves going on vacation. Who doesnt love escaping real life for a week or so and jetting off to a tropical paradise? Once we reach our destination, its nothing but rest and relaxation until its time to leave and return to reality. The only downside to going on vacation is traveling to the destination. As everyone knows, that can be a hassle and lead to some of the biggest migraines youll ever experience. This is especially true if your chosen mode of transportation is flying. In a clip posted on YouTube, Brian talks about the accents of most pilots. He states that they all seem to have what he describes as a Midwestern accent. Its calm, reassuring and confident. Thats precisely how you want the pilot to sound, right? Everyone wants someone flying the plane to sound like they are in total control of the situation. Then he switches things up a little. He reimagines what a pilot might sound like and say if they had a New York or New Jersey accent. Moments into this bit, Brian has the entire audience rolling with laughter. He claims that a New York accent wouldnt work as a pilot because its not the most soothing one in the world. Also, as Brian hilariously demonstrates in the clip, New Yorkers tend to be more brusque, blunt and straightforward than youd want a pilot to be. He also includes a few hysterical jokes about how airlines allow people to board the aircraft. He claims that airlines separate passengers by class with their oddly named membership groups. Brians stand-up bit is so hilarious because its so relatable. Everyone who has ever flown on a plane knows and understands exactly what he is talking about. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.